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  • August 2009
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Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
‘Happy Birthday!’,
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought….

Well, that’s marriage for you,
but the kids…
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn’t say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
‘Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! ‘
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
that’s the greatest thing
I’ve heard all day.
Let’s go !’

We went to lunch.
But we didn’t go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day…
We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?’

I responded,
‘I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?’
She said,
‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
it’s just around the corner.’

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,

‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
I’m going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I’ll be right back.’
‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake …
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there….

On the couch…

Naked.

Home Made Kitten Formula

I know, it is a weird topic, but while reading my latest issue of Best friends Magazine, I came across this recipe for home made kitten formula! It’s not often you’ll ever come across a stray newborn kitten, but a long time ago I did. It was while I was on my Uncle’s ranch digging Indian ruins with my Dad. We stopped by an old shack that was on the property to have a look around and heard this little feeble meowing sound coming from beneath an old bed. We looked under it and saw a little wild kitten peering back at us. When it tried to walk, it just stumbled weakly. We didn’t really know what to do with this poor little fellow and thought that the mommy cat may be around, so we left it there. The day after we went back and checked on it, and it had died. Apparently the mother cat had abandoned the kitten. I felt horrible. Had we known just what to feed the little thing, we might have taken it and saved it. I will now know what to feed a little stray kitten or litter of kittens if I should ever come upon one, and you will too. The recipe is for a litter of kittens, but you can reduce it is you just have one or two:

3 egg yolks
3 ounces of water
3 ounces of goat’s milk (available at most stores)
4 ounces of plain, full fat yogurt (not the low fat stuff)

Mix well and keep refrigerated until ready to use.
Because of the raw egg yolks, use the formula within two days.
Warm the formula by placing a bottle of the
mixture in a bowl of hot water, and be sure to check the
temperature of the formula by placing a bit on your
wrist as you would with a baby. Check with a vet for a
feeding schedule which should be every two to
three hours and should eat 7 to 15 CC’s per feeding.

There you have it and so will I by posting this. Thanks to Best Friends Animal Society for including this helpful information.

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