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  • September 2021
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Heaven and Hell

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven…”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell…

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

“I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil smiles at him and says,

“Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted..”

Vote wisely on November 2.

Great Orators

How’s this for intelligence?

Great Orators

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

“The buck stops here.” – Harry S. Truman

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” – John F. Kennedy


And, from today’s genius ‘

“It depends what your definition of ‘Sex’ is?” – Bill Clinton

“That Obama … I would like to cut his NUTS off.” – Jesse Jackson

“Those rumors are false … I believe in the sanctity of marriage.” – John Edwards

“I invented the Internet.” – Al Gore

“The next Person that tells me I’m not religious, I’m going to shove my rosary beads up their ASS.” – Joe Biden

” America is … Is no longer, uh, what it … It, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was … Uh, and I say to myself, ‘uh, I don’t want that future, uh, uh for my children.” – Barack Obama

“I have campaigned in all 57 states.” – Barack Obama (Quoted 2008)

“You don’t need God anymore, you have us Democrats.” – Nancy Pelosi (Quoted 2006)

“Paying taxes is voluntary.” – Sen. Harry Reid

“Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.” – Hillary Clinton (Quoted 1998)

And the most recent gem of wisdom from the “Mother Moron”:

“We just have to pass the Healthcare Bill to see what’s in it.” – Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March, 2010)

HOW LUCKY CAN WE BE – TO HAVE SUCH BRILLIANT MINDS IN CHARGE OF OUR ONCE GREAT COUNTRY?

”Life’s tough … it’s even tougher if you’re stupid.” – John Wayne

Go green – recycle Congress in 2010

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